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intosnarkness:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat

and it got upgraded to first class

without me

(via brittanyjoyal)

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dietcrush:

did you know soap doesn’t really clean your hands it just makes the water molecules smaller so the water can go into smaller crevices in your skin isn’t that the weirdest shit you’ve read today

(via spuandi)

original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

(via justwatchthesunrise)

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